Tuesday, March 21, 2006

How to be seriously bad-ass: Sleeveless Hoody Edition.

A couple weeks ago, I posted an entry on my other blog, Capitalist Pig vs Socialist Swine, that said I wanted to blog about my other interests besides politics. These included my favorite hobby, being seriously bad-ass. So I've decided that I'm going to have a weekly column on Tower of Babble about how to be as bad-ass as you can be. That way other people can join me in pursuing what might be the funnest hobby in the whole damn universe. So without further ado. Here's how you can become as bad-ass as I am.

The first thing about being bad-ass that one has to learn about is having bad-ass fashion sense. This is for two reasons. First, there's no point in being bad-ass if no one else realizes that you're bad-ass. So to make sure that everyone know's you're way more bad-ass than they are, you have to look bad-ass. You ask: How does one look bad-ass? Well, like they say the clothes make the (wo)man. So to look bad-ass you have to start by dressing bad-ass.

The second reason I'm starting with bad-ass fashion sense, is that fashion is easy, anyone can learn how to dress bad-ass. It's just about having the right elements to put together a truly bad-ass outfit. For example, every bad-ass has to have a sleeveless hoody. Preferably a black sleeveless hoody with a skull on it. Because sleeves are for pussies and everyone knows that skulls and black are bad-ass. A good example of a really bad-ass sleeveless hoody is being modeled by yours truly below:

Doesn't that just scream BAD-ASS!!!! Just look how that hoody brings out my inner machoness. If I was any more macho in that hoody I'd be Chuck fuckin' Norris. Goddamn, if I was a toothless trucker chick I'd be all over me in that fine hoody like a greasy overweight man on a meatball sub with extra cheese.

See without sleeves, you can show the world you muscles and tattoos (preferably tattoos of half-man/half-bird hybrids holding swords looking all intense). You really can't find a shirt that makes you look more bad-ass than a black sleeveless hoody with a skull on it. Well, okay there's one more bad ass looking shirt, that's a black sleeveless hoody with a skull in it in the dark:

Fuck, I'm so bad-ass I'm scared of myself.


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