Monday, April 17, 2006

Macho Dating Advice for Women: 04/17/06 Edition.

For today's installment of Macho Dating Advice for Women I thought I'd change it up a little. Instead of going over someone else's advice and noting why it's utterly stupid, I've decided that I would find questions posted on advice sites. Those sites always give those sickeningly sweet "it's him not you" bullshit answers to people's questions. Well those aren't the types of answers that I'm going to give, because in my opinion it's most definitely you not him that's the problem.

So here we go. Here's the first question that I found at
I saw my Godmother's nephew who I had always had a crush on and he asked me for my number and told me he always liked me as well and really wanted to spend time with me. He called me that night and we hooked up, he asked me to call him the next day and I did and we spoke a few times that day and we spoke again the next day and he said he would call me back and he hasn't yet. I know the phrase "He's just not that into you", but he told me after we hooked up he felt lucky and that my ex-boyfriend was a lucky guy. What is going on?

Your ex-boyfriend is lucky because he got rid of you. Your Godmother's nephew feels lucky 'cause he's getting away from you. You must really suck in bed if he ditched you as soon as you "hooked up" with him. Either that or you smell kind of bad. Not bad enough that he noticed right away but bad enough that when he got close to you it made him somewhat nauseous and as such he really doesn't want to get that close to you again. Dosing yourself with patchouli isn't the same as taking a shower you stinky hippy.

P.S. It's also kind of sad that you have to resort to dating the relatives of family friends. That there's already a sign that there's something wrong.

Here's another one:
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two days and I always thought that once you start dating things come easier but every time we are around each other we feel a bit weird and don't know what to say. Is that bad or just normal?

You've been dating for two days and you're calling him your boyfriend and you're already asking for dating advice online from complete strangers? You know what your problem is? You're a psycho. Next.

And now one last one:
I don't ask very many questions and I met this guy, Mike, who wants me to ask some questions to get to know him and his personality better. I really like him what are some good questions to ask him. I know he is interested in me because of his best friend. I am 18 and he is 19 we have know each other for a few weeks now. Thank you for your help.

Ask him why he dates idiots then let me know what he says.

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