Saturday, April 01, 2006

Thinking about cigars....

Tonight I reaffirmed my deep seated belief that there's nothing better in this world than sitting outside under a sky full of stars smoking a Romeo y Julieta number 1. While I was doing that though, I remembered a rather funny episode that I was a party to eight years ago when I was living in residence at the University of Calgary.

At that point in time I was a unrepentant alcoholic who's favorite past time was starting bar brawls. As such a few of my best friends (aka guys I liked to go out drinking with) were a few of the Dinos defensive linemen. When you like to brawl, it's nice to have a couple 6'8" 300 pounders there to watch your back.

One night after enough tequila to poison an elephant and a sizable brawl at some crappy Electric Avenue bar (I think it was Coconut Joe's) my friends and I decided it would be a good idea to go play some football in the dark. While we were heading out to the practice fields we ran into a friend of mine who's father sent him a humidor full of Cohibas as part of a care package. So we decided it would be even more fun to play full contact football while smoking $40 Cuban cigars.

However, after a few plays we had decided that we were far too drunk and it was far too dark to actually play (I think we lost the ball as well). So we were left standing out there with half smoked cigars and rapidly oncoming boredom. So someone suggested that we play a game and see who would be tough enough to put out a cigar on their own forehead. I and my friend who had provided the cigars were lucid enough to realize that cigars, unlike cigarettes, don't really go out when you press them against human flesh, the embers are just too large.

However, before we had the opportunity to warn our friends that their plan was poorly thought out they had already proceeded to stab their Cohibas into their brows. Suffice it to say the luckiest of them walked away with only second degree burns (I guess they were too drunk and too macho to stop trying to put out their cigars when it became quite apparent that the cigars weren't extinguishing).

That was pretty funny but what was more funny was that they all had practice the next morning and practice meant wearing helmets that rest on their foreheads then smashing those helmets into each other and random relatively immovable objects. When they got back to the dorms each of them was bleeding profusely.

The moral of this story: go out drinking with football players, they're an amusing bunch (then again some of my rugby teammates were quite amusing also; on one occassion a couple of them got drunk enough that they stabbed each other in the leg to prove how tough they were).


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