Tower of Babble

Sunday Night Fights: Lister vs. Sakara

2006-05-28T12:39:00.000-06:00

Last night I had the pleasure of watching UFC 60 at one of my favorite Irish pubs in the world (also known as Kilkenny's here in Calgary). While the main event between Royce Gracie and Matt Hughes was sort of disappointing. In so far that it was so one sided it wasn't a particularly interesting fight. A number of the fights on the undercard were quite good. For example the fight between Dean Lister and Alessio Sakara.

I've been burninated....

2006-05-13T22:55:00.000-06:00

I learned a new lesson today. One should not rely upon an melanic advantage to avoid sunburns. To do so only results in tremendous pain and mockery from one's fairer skinned friends who championed the use of sunscreen.

Stupid ultraviolet radiation always making me look foolish.

The strangest thing though is that the worst burns are on the backs of my arms. My face, head, neck, and shoulders only have the slightest of sunburns but my triceps feel like they've been branded.

I hate the sun, I hate it so much....

Sunday Night Fights: Genki Sudo vs. Royler Gracie

2006-04-30T13:23:00.000-06:00

This a short entertaining little fight between the only Japanes fighter trained in the US (normally it works the other way around) and one of the Gracie brothers.

P.S. Here's a little highlight reel to illustrate why Sudo is one of my favorite fighters. The man seriously has style and flair in the ring.

E.O. Wilson

2006-04-29T22:36:00.000-06:00

It occurs to me that in the two years that I've been blogging, I've talked about school and about my research area kind of roughly but I've never actually mentioned my area of specialty, which is evolutionary approaches to psychology and cognitive science. So I thought I'd introduce everyone to my interests by posting an interview with E.O. Wilson, the founder of sociobiology, which morphed into the more contemporary evolutionary psychology championed by people such as John Tooby, Leda Cosmides, Jerome Barkow, and Dan Buss. Now I do think that all the people listed are at least kind of wrong but this interview is still a good start.

-CK

I would so go to this guy's church.

2006-04-26T17:37:00.000-06:00

Rock 'n' Roll just isn't as awesome anymore.

2006-04-23T15:42:00.000-06:00

Strangest article of the day.

2006-04-23T15:32:00.000-06:00

I was over at Fark.com and I found a link to what may be the strangest article ever relative to its source. It's an article in Forbes about how we should bring back gladiatorial combat. Weird.

Sunday Night Fights: Gracie vs Sakuraba

2006-04-22T16:48:00.000-06:00

Today I have a treat for all you fight fans. Royce Gracie and Kazushi Sakuraba. So get some popcorn sit get yourself two and a half hours of free time and enjoy.

Progressive TV.

2006-04-22T01:54:00.000-06:00

Embracing Humanity: Truth in a Time of War with Howard Zinn

Click on the link, watch the video, and maybe learn something.

Friday Not-So-Random Ten: Best Drinking Songs Edition.

2006-04-22T00:29:00.000-06:00

I realized it's been forever since I've done any music listing, but I thought that instead of just letting my MP3 player randomly spew songs at me I would do the song choosing to fit a theme that I wanted. So for the triumphant return of Friday song listing. Here are the best ten drinking songs ever.

10. Dead Kennedys - Too Drunk to Fuck
9. Sublime - 40oz. to Freedom
8. Mojo Nixon - Beer Ain't Drinkin'
7. Corb Lund Band - Time to Switch to Whiskey
6. Jello Biafra and Mojo Nixon - Are You Drinkin' With Me Jesus?
5. Reverend Horton Heat - Sue Jack Daniels
4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Rascal King
3. Tom Waits - The Piano Has Been Drinking
2. NOFX - Bottles to the Ground
1. Any song that you friend Barry's Newfie uncle taught you.

-CK

I have a new favorite Cardinal.

2006-04-21T17:51:00.000-06:00

Normally when I read about religious figures in the news, it's always a matter of something bad (like child molestation or protesting at funerals) or something tremendously stupid (like someone declaring that there's a war against Christianity, or trying to suggest keeping intelligent design out of science classes is censorship). However, today I read about an Italian Cardinal who made the news for being so sensible (you know that things are a little off when you make the news for being sensible). Here's a few snippets from the article:

The former Archbishop of Milan, Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini, said condoms, when used by married couples, were a "lesser evil" than passing on the disease to more people.

"A spouse infected with Aids is obliged to protect the other partner who also has to be able to protect herself,"

Using condoms to prevent AIDS! Who'd ever think that a senior member of the Catholic hierarchy would say something so reasonable?

Cardinal Martini also pledged his support for legal abortions and the use of frozen embryos to enable single women to produce children. "It is difficult for a modern state not to intervene, at least to prevent a brutal, arbitrary situation from developing," he said, adding that the legalisation of abortion, which occurred in Italy in 1978, had been a "positive" development in that it had "contributed to reducing and eliminating illegal abortions."

Preventing clothes hanger abortions by giving women a safe and regulated alternative? I'm definitely picking up what this guy is putting down.

(Cardinal Martini said) he would not condemn people who are involved out of "altruism" at the request of people who wish to end their lives (i.e. cases of assisted suicide/euthanasia).

And this guy isn't the Pope? If this guy wore the Papal crown, I'd convert to Catholicism tomorrow. Well, maybe the whole not believing in God thing might get in the way....

Anyhow, there needs to be far more religious figures like Cardinal Martini and fewer that are like Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps, and Tom Cruise.

Damn, I was a good smoker.

2006-04-20T00:44:00.000-06:00

I've quit smoking now for three years and look at what the below quiz says about my relationship with tobacco:

The Moderate Smoker
You scored 62 Nic-fit Factor!

You, the moderate smoker, are likely to regularly smoke a good brand of
full-flavored cigarettes. You probably know your way around other forms
of tobacco as well, and you could probably get ahold of some cubans if
you felt the urge. You are well-experienced in the world of tobacco,
and are more than capable of keeping up with some of the heaviest of
smokers.

The difference between you and heavier users is self-control, being that you have some.

Be sure to rate the test, thanks!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 75% on Nic-fit Factor

Link: The Nicotine Junkie Test written by gmsilence on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Dennis Leary would be proud.

-CK

I'll be moving to a hotbed of heatheness!

2006-04-19T00:11:00.000-06:00

I was sitting around thinking about my impending move and it struck me that I was moving to the midwestish city in a Republican state on the Kentucky border, which I assumed was smack in the middle of the US bible belt. Immediately I had flashes of raging bands of evangelical Christians chasing me with their pitch forks and bibles demanding that I repent my sins and embrace the savior.

However, PZ Myers of Pharyngula fame has disabused me of my irrational fear of religious mobs trying to convert me. It seems that Cincinnati happens to be in, what I would like to call, a Godless Heathen Zone. You don't know how relieved I am to discover that. I was almost expecting to burned at the stake for my blasphemous "evolutionist" views.

-CK

P.S. I think the term "evolutionist" is stupid.

P.P.S. I feel kind of bad for PZ 'cause he seems to be stuck in a Super Religious Hate Evolution Zone.

Macho Dating Advice for Women: 04/17/06 Edition.

2006-04-17T20:34:00.000-06:00

For today's installment of Macho Dating Advice for Women I thought I'd change it up a little. Instead of going over someone else's advice and noting why it's utterly stupid, I've decided that I would find questions posted on advice sites. Those sites always give those sickeningly sweet "it's him not you" bullshit answers to people's questions. Well those aren't the types of answers that I'm going to give, because in my opinion it's most definitely you not him that's the problem.

So here we go. Here's the first question that I found at About.com:

I saw my Godmother's nephew who I had always had a crush on and he asked me for my number and told me he always liked me as well and really wanted to spend time with me. He called me that night and we hooked up, he asked me to call him the next day and I did and we spoke a few times that day and we spoke again the next day and he said he would call me back and he hasn't yet. I know the phrase "He's just not that into you", but he told me after we hooked up he felt lucky and that my ex-boyfriend was a lucky guy. What is going on?

Your ex-boyfriend is lucky because he got rid of you. Your Godmother's nephew feels lucky 'cause he's getting away from you. You must really suck in bed if he ditched you as soon as you "hooked up" with him. Either that or you smell kind of bad. Not bad enough that he noticed right away but bad enough that when he got close to you it made him somewhat nauseous and as such he really doesn't want to get that close to you again. Dosing yourself with patchouli isn't the same as taking a shower you stinky hippy.

P.S. It's also kind of sad that you have to resort to dating the relatives of family friends. That there's already a sign that there's something wrong.

Here's another one:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two days and I always thought that once you start dating things come easier but every time we are around each other we feel a bit weird and don't know what to say. Is that bad or just normal?

You've been dating for two days and you're calling him your boyfriend and you're already asking for dating advice online from complete strangers? You know what your problem is? You're a psycho. Next.

And now one last one:

I don't ask very many questions and I met this guy, Mike, who wants me to ask some questions to get to know him and his personality better. I really like him what are some good questions to ask him. I know he is interested in me because of his best friend. I am 18 and he is 19 we have know each other for a few weeks now. Thank you for your help.

Ask him why he dates idiots then let me know what he says.

I find it alarming that it's not 0%

2006-04-16T01:03:00.000-06:00

I've found another reason to think that biblical literalists are nuts. Here it is (it's a quote about an Ipsos-Reid poll in the National Post):

In Canada, 20% agreed with the statement that "the world will end in the Battle of Armageddon between Jesus and the Antichrist." In the United States, 46% answered in the affirmative.

I don't know about you but I find it rather alarming that 1 in 5 Canadians and nearly 1 in 2 Americans not only believe that the world will end in a battle between Jesus and the Antichrist but would say so to a public opinion poll. That's the kind of idea you hear from schizophrenic people who are off their meds.

-CK

Ever wanted a cow fart catcher?

2006-04-15T21:44:00.000-06:00

Have you ever thought it would be awesome if you could catch cow farts? I know I have. I mean, cows go around all day stinking up the joint with their flatulence, which, by the way, contributes to global warming. It's about time that someone did something about it.

And apparently, somehow has done something about it. It seems that some ingenious person (or group of persons) has patented a design for a cow fat catcher.

Now all I have to do is figure out where I can go buy one of these contraptions. Really, do doesn't need a cow fart catcher.

-CK

Fun little quiz.

2006-04-15T21:15:00.000-06:00

I just found a rather cool little personality quiz over at Living the Scientific Life. Here's what it had to say about me:

Benevolent Leader

My Personal Dna Report

-CK

A good article about one of the stupider things promoted by alternative "medicine".

2006-04-14T18:09:00.000-06:00

Now I must admit I'm a guy who holds a grudge especially when it comes to debates where the people I'm debating with are being idiots.

That's sort of what this post is about, something like three years ago I somehow got into an argument with a proponent of alternative "medicine" who was trying to suggest that the kernels of apricot seeds can cure cancer and that the "western medical establishment" was suppressing the information about it so they could sell more drugs. Now anyone else would have simply called that person a moron and moved on. However, I managed to get into a running debate with them that lasted for several months.

So when I came across an article from the BBC today noting how consumption of apricot kernels can kill your ass I couldn't help but post it here.

Watchdog warns over apricot seeds

Some claim apricot seeds can cure cancer
Apricot stones sold for health benefits could be fatal in high doses, the food safety watchdog has warned.
Apricot kernels are thought to contain high levels of vitamin B17, which is described as an immune system booster and even sold as a cancer treatment.

But the Food Standards Agency said they also produce cyanide and can be poisonous in high doses.

It is now recommending that people consume no more than two bitter apricot kernels in a single day.

An FSA spokesman said there were reports from overseas of "very serious health effects" being associated with the consumption of 20 to 30 kernels in a short period of time.

He added: "They could be potentially lethal in high enough doses."

Natural food retailer Julian Graves was selling packs with a recommended daily dose of 10 kernels and has since pulled them from its shelves.

It said it had begun selling the apricot kernels due to customer demand and would do so again with a revised recommended dosage if the food watchdog gave it permission.

The seeds however are also available through specialist websites.

Cancer Research UK says of vitamin B17: "According to claims made on the Internet, this substance found in apricot pips is a highly active compound that can cure cancer.

"Unfortunately this is simply not true. The whole reason for the existence of Cancer Research UK is to find cures for cancers.

"If simply eating apricot seeds could cure cancer, no one would be more delighted than us."

With all the effort and resources that go into medical research I can't understand why some people think that medical problems as complex cancer can be cured by something as simple as eating seeds. If it was that easy we'd have cured cancer by now.

Sunday Night Fights: Rumina Sato vs. Antonio Carvalho

2006-04-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

Okay, so it's not Sunday but this is still a good fight between Canadian Antonio Carvalho and one of the best Shooto fighters in Japan, Rumina Sato.

Ivy League or ID League?

2006-04-12T23:53:00.000-06:00

To be completely honest I've never thought highly of the Ivy League schools. It just always struck me that they were a little overrated. Sure, they're good schools but there are, in my opinion at least, a lot of non-Ivy League schools that are way better but are overshadowed by institutions such as Harvard, Yale, and Cornell.

However, whatever my feelings about them, the Ivy League has in the past generally been a bastion of higher learning, which I could at least respect if not feel fondly about. This though has changed.

Apparently, unless I'm the victim of a elaborate hoax (which this really should be), it seems that Cornell is going to offer an undergraduate course in Intelligent Design.

People keep talking about a supposed "war on Christianity" but really, from the way it seems to me there's a war on the part of biblical literalists against even a modicum of rational thought and enlightenment. Moreover, it seems that they're actually gaining ground. If there's a sign that there needs to be more funding for science education, it's the increasing support for idiotic "theories" like Intelligent Design.

I mean, ID has made it into the Ivy League?

I remember less than five years ago the mere suggestion that someone working in biology or the philosophy of biology could harm their reputation sufficiently to have serious negative effect upon their careers.

-CK

Look out Cincinnati, here I come!

2006-04-12T00:31:00.000-06:00

Well now I've heard back from all the various departments that I've applied to (with the exception of FSU and Indiana University) and I've made my decision that it's the University of Cincinnati that's the most appealing to me. While some of the other programs might have been ranked higher by people like the Philosophical Gourmet. UC has the faculty with the best mix of research interests (at least for a person like me who gets all excited and stuff about phil of biology and phil of neuroscience).

So in the fall I'll be off to a town that's apparently known (appropriately enough) as "Porkopolis". So, that being the case, does anyone have any insights about Cincinnati that might be helpful for a displaced Canadian?

-CK

Macho dating advice for women.

2006-04-11T00:05:00.000-06:00

I've decided that there is far too much sausage on this site. From what I've seen nearly every single reader of this blog is a dude. As such I thought I would have a feature for the ladies and perhaps build up the estrogen levels around here a little. Sure this site's mostly about being macho but the ladies can be macho too.

That and I felt that I needed a replacement for my old Liberal Eye for the Conservative Guy feature (which went defunct because I think the people at Hannidate found out what I was doing and as thus changed the format to make it more difficult to poke fun at the losers).

However, I'm far too lazy to actually come up with advice of my own. So instead I'm just going to dig into the mounds of bad dating advice on the internet aimed at the ladies and make a few friendly criticisms.

For example, I ran across a list of the 10 pick-up lines that MSN thought would help ladies win over dudes. All I can say is that MSN must be staffed by ladies who live on the island of Lesbos because they've obviously never talked to men before. Here's what they came up with (followed by my comments):

"Hi." It seems obvious, but if you make a habit of being friendly across the board, you'll find it easier to start a conversation with someone that really interests you. Sure, you might end up chit-chatting with some random guy you have no interest in, but meeting someone you like is equally possible. And why not hone your conversation skills in the meantime?

"Hi"? "Hi"?!?! "Hi" isn't a pick-up line. Dolts. Pick-up lines are things like "Howya doin'?" and "Your legs must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all night". "Hi" is a fucking greeting. Stupid MSN.

"Can you close my bracelet for me?" Or "Can you help with this crossword puzzle answer?" or any other plea for assistance. "A guy wants to feel like a provider," says Copeland. "If he can be a hero in your eyes, even for a moment, it'll make his day." And that's sure to ratchet up his interest in you, the one who made him feel that way.

How about "I'm totally fucking useless, I can't put on my own jewelry, am illiterate, and when we're together you'll be at my beck and call 'cause I'm a little princess who can't do shit for myself." That'll totally pick-up guys. Idiots....

"That's a cool pocket-watch. Where'd you get it?" Ask an open-ended question (one that requires more than a grunt for an answer) that makes him get talkin' -- and keep the conversation going from there. (Did he tell you his girlfriend gave him the pocket watch? Keep talking anyway -- he might have a cute brother!)

Who the fuck wears a pocket watch? Who are you trying to pick up, an eighty year old? That's kind of creepy. Sicko. It's even creepier that you're considering dating an eighty year old's brother.

"Don't you think Batman's cooler than Superman because he doesn't have super-powers to fall back on?" Let him be an expert. If a guy is reading something that you know about -- a newspaper story, a novel, or a comic book you remember fondly -- comment on it and let him show you how much he knows.

Sister, don't pick up dudes at Comicon. You can do better. Picking up someone at Comicon is barely better than picking someone up at a Magic: The Gathering tournament.

"You've got an iPod. Should I get the Nano or the 30 gig?" "Guys are gearheads," says Copeland. "They love to talk about mechanical things."

See, there's this thing about straight guys, they like dating girls. So if you're trying to pick up a straight guy, don't try to be like a guy. Sure I like talking about gadgets and machines and various things that make noise but that's what I talk to dudes about. Unless you want to be viewed as the girl that's one of the guys, I'd suggest talking about something not gadget related.

"Do you think that couple over there is on their first date, or what?" Commenting on something nearby can make a guy feel like he's in the cool crowd with you. But try to be careful about making fun of someone -- that might be his best buddy puffing on that stinky cigar.

Unless you want to get a "How the fuck should I know?" and a "Who the fuck are you?" as an answer don't ask stupid questions. Also I have no idea why the MSN lady thought that asking a guy whether he thinks a couple is on their first date would make him feel like he's in the cool crowd with you. Being a guy I can safely say that any guy wouldn't give a flying fuck whether two strangers are on a first date. I guess apathy is the in thing nowadays....

"Can I sit with you so I won't get hit on?" Not only are you asking for help, you're hammering home the fact that you're desirable. Once you've enlisted his services, you've got a captive audience and can even offer him a "thank you" drink without appearing too forward.

Isn't the point of picking up getting hit on? If you're trying to pick up don't you want your potential target to feel free to hit on you? That being the case don't you think it's counter-productive to tell your potential suitor that you don't want to be hit on? TV must make people stupid and the MSN lady must watch a lot of it....

"This new Snickers bar is fabulous. You've got to try it." Not only do you seem generous by sharing your candy/cocktail/mixed nuts, you're also awakening his senses -- very sexy indeed.

Really weird and potentially fat. That's the impression that starting a conversation by talking about candy bars is going to give anyone you talk to. No one should be that excited about a Snickers bar.

"So, what are you doing here?" When you meet at an event where you're bound to know someone in common -- whether it's a wedding or just a backyard barbecue -- you can use the old so-who-do-you-know game to pave the way to a real conversation.

"So who are you, the police?" Perhaps the best way to pick someone up is not to be all interrogational. Also, most guys have had at least one of those insanely jealous/suspicious girlfriends who seems to almost always show up at various guys-night-out events and get all psycho as the result of a little innocent drinking of champagne off of a stripper's breasts. No one wants to date that chick.

"I never do this, but I think you're cute and I got tired of waiting for you to talk to me." When all else fails, there's nothing wrong with the direct approach. In fact, it's Copeland's favorite. "The drawback is that you're more vulnerable to rejection," he admits. But we're strong, capable women, right? Next fish in the sea, please!

This one actually isn't bad. It might work. Though it's nowhere as good as, "Nice ass, do you mind if I touch it?"

That's the best pick-up line ever. I mean Tom Cruise had that lady in Jerry McGuire at "hello" but almost any girl could have any guy at "Nice ass, do you mind if I touch it?".

So there's your lesson for today ladies, I can guarantee you dating success if you take my advice.

-CK

Suicide Whale Attack!

2006-04-10T21:44:00.000-06:00

Since people keep insisting on suggesting that the poor guy who blew himself up in that Toronto Tim Horton's restaurant is a terrorist I'm going to insist that the whales are fighting back seeking retribution for centuries of commercial whaling.

It seems that whales routinely collide with Japanese ferries (which is awfully convenient considering that Japan is one of the two countries, that I know of, that still allows commercial whaling). In the most recent incident 49 passengers on a Japanese ferry were injured, 13 critically.

The Norwegians better look out, their time is coming soon.

Vive le Whalevolution!

Sunday Night Fights: Fedor Emelianenko vs Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic

2006-04-09T16:43:00.000-06:00

It strikes me that if I'm going to blog about mixed martial arts, I really should have a regular feature that showcases what I think are the best fights that have been fought. So to start this off, here's the match between Mirko "Cro Cop" (brush cut & shorts with pattern on front right) and Fedor Emelianenko (shaved head & black shorts with writing on the ass), two of the most well rounded fighters in the MMA scene right about now. It's not the most exciting fight ever but it's a nice display of skill and tactical countering on the part of "Cro Cop".

The best product ever.

2006-04-09T00:40:00.000-06:00

Today I saw an commercial that advertised the best product of all time! The bible on DVD!!! Seventy two hours of scriptural recitation. That's an entire long weekend of fun for everyone! That's a whole lot of Jesus for less than $25.

I know what I want for Christmas!

This is the best thing since that whole free Lamb of God video thing (which, in case you were wondering, I did order).

-CK

P.S. I really should watch TV more often. Tonight I also saw the best series of commercials. The first was one for an employment agency, which was followed by a commercial for a company that helps people reduce debt, which in turn was followed by a commercial for a loan company. Ahhh, the joys of TV. Like a friend of mine once said, "those who pay too much attention to the world don't know what they're missing on TV."

Origami is seriously awesome.

2006-04-08T20:07:00.000-06:00

Through fark.com I found a quite interesting site about the origami of Robert J. Lang. I must admit that I've previously been nearly completely ignorant of origami. Indeed, all I really knew about it was that my mom can make paper cranes. However, after purusing Lang's site, I've come to the decision that origami is totally awesome. Not only are there some seriously cool paper creations featured on the site, there's some seriously cool math, which I know at least one or two of you will like to read over.

-CK

Dammit, more editing....

2006-04-08T17:10:00.000-06:00

Some of you might remember that back a couple weeks ago I was excited that I had completed editing my thesis. However, my celebration was apparently a little premature. This week I met with my supervisor who noted that two sections of my thesis were not clear. The problem is that one of the sections is my entire last chapter. This means that I will have to completely rewrite my final chapter for a sixth time. Stupid editing. I hate it so much.

Well at least it's an issue of poor writing rather than an issue of poor ideas. Poor writing is easy to fix, if instead it was just that I was wrong or wrong-headed in my suggestions that would suck a lot more.

Still, I hate editing.

-CK

The stupidity is spreading....

2006-04-07T00:16:00.000-06:00

Fuck I hate creationists. Those dirty goat fucking sons of bitches. From the Gazette:

McGill University says the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council made a "factual error" when it denied Professor Brian Alters a $40,000 grant on the grounds that he'd failed to provide the panel with ample evidence that Charles Darwin's theory of evolution is correct.

Jennifer Robinson, McGill's associate vice-principal for communications, said the university has asked the SSHRC to review its decision to reject Alters's request for money to study how the rising popularity in the United States of "intelligent design" - a controversial creationist theory of life - is eroding acceptance of evolutionary science in Canada.

The planned project, submitted last year to the council, is titled Detrimental effects of popularizing anti-evolution's intelligent design theory on Canadian students, teachers, parents, administrators and policymakers.

Alters, director of McGill's Evolution Education Research Centre, told CanWest News Service yesterday he was shocked at SSHRC's response and that it offers "ironic" proof that his premise about intelligent design gaining a foothold in Canada is correct.

Now I've always thought that SSHRC was a bit capricious when it comes to what they fund (indeed they shot me down but funded some stupid sociological study about comic books, I mean sociology isn't even an academic field). However, when they refuse to fund a project about the erosion of science by creationism and ID because the guy didn't prove that evolution is true, that's going from capricious to just plain stupid.

-CK

The Ultimate Fighter Blogging.

2006-04-06T23:47:00.000-06:00

One thing that most of you probably don't know about me, given that it never came up in the context of my other blog, is that I'm a great lover of mixed martial arts (MMA). It's something that I've been quite fond of since my childhood. When I was younger I studied kick-boxing and karate under a sensei who strongly believed (way before it became a common view) that the best fighters were generalists and not specialists. As such he used to train us in a wide variety of skills. Though he was primarily a kick-boxer (I think he was the Canadian light-heavyweight champ for a while), he was also versed in wrestling and judo, skills which he believed that we all should learn.

So before there was really a mixed martial arts scene in North America, my fellow students and I had already had a fair amount of training in MMA (it was that training that led us to sweep open styles Muay Thai tourneys such as the Battle of the Rocky Mountains, etc).

So when the scene broke with events such as the Ultimate Fighting Championship, I was hooked. I've been watching the UFC since it's inception and their new reality series The Ultimate Fighter, is one of the few shows that I actually follow (and I follow it religiously). So now that I have a new blog that has a more open format, I'm going to take this opportunity to have you all follow the show as well.

So far only the first episode has aired so I don't really have much to say. However, for the record, from what little I've seen I think there are several fighters to watch for. I think that this season Michael Bisping, Matt Hammill, and the lone Canadian/Noam Chomsky fan Kalib Starnes are going to do well (Starnes dominated his first fight against a rather lacklustre Mike Stine).

-CK

Maybe one of the poets in the face off read this blog....

2006-04-06T23:42:00.000-06:00

Okay, first of all let me say that I'm disappointed. No profanity laced haikus about violence? Really, you guys are bringing down the macho levels around here.

However, I think I might have spoke a little too soon in my last post. There is one poet who's not totally lame at the CBC face-off, D'Janau Morales. She knows the true poetic beauty of punching people in the face and the word "fuck".

Though you guys don't.

Fuckers, I'm going to punch you all in the face.

-CK

The Tower of Babble Poetry Face-Off.

2006-04-03T17:24:00.000-06:00

Today I had the misfortune of listening to the "~~National~~ Annual Poetry Face-Off" on CBC radio. The only thing that was remarkable about the poets on the show was how utterly crappy they were. Then again, one couldn't really blame them, it's not their fault that they have no talent and that the theme (irrestibility) was stupider than that kid in your grade three class who wore the helmet and put glue in his pants (fuck I hated that kid).

So, I figured that instead of just bitching about it (which I guess I've just done) I would also do something about it. Namely hold my own poetry face off here but with a kick ass theme, rather than a lame ass one. Oh, I guess you'd like to know what that theme is: violence and/or profanity. To prove that we (you and I) are better than the talentless hacks on the CBC (at least when it comes to kick ass poetry), I challenge you to write a haiku (because that's the badest ass form of poetry; 5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 more syllables, that's almost Chuck Norriseque) that is about (or is full of) violence and/or (preferably and) profanity. Here's my entry.

I hate those fuckers.
Lame, pompous, no-talent hacks.
I want to punch them.

Now it's your turn bitches.

-CK

This is a movie that I'd like to see.

2006-04-03T01:17:00.000-06:00

More emo parody goodness.

2006-04-02T19:28:00.000-06:00

To be completely honest, I must admit that once upon a time I did like AFI when they were actually a punk band. However, it seems that Davey Havok and gang have decided to revel in lameness so:

-CK

A quick thought about current events....

2006-04-02T15:03:00.000-06:00

There's a phenomenon that I really don't understand that I felt that I should comment on. In the past few years I've noticed that animal rights groups like PETA have turned to celebrities, the most air-headed celebrities at that, such as Paul McCartney, Avril Lavigne, Benji Madden, and Alec Baldwin, to push their positions.

I think this says something terrible about our society. We don't listen to ecologists, ethicists, or people who know something about the impacts of our actions. Instead, we listen to people with big boobies or symmetrical faces that barely know anything about their own "art" forms (I know some of you are going to argue that Paul McCartney is one of the greatest song writers of our era but you're just wrong) let alone anything about animal rights or the impacts of environmental policy.

Seriously, this is one of those things that makes me want to punch.

-CK

A more better Lazy Sunday parody.

2006-04-01T13:30:00.000-07:00

A short history of the Mullet.

2006-04-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

One can find the strangest things looking on Catholic.net. For example, this history of mullets from the San Francisco Gate:

Here is the American history of the mullet, in less than 150 words:

1845: James K. Polk is sworn in as the 11th president of the United States, and the first public figure in the nation's history to sport a mullet.

1954: Michael Bolton is born.

1972: David Bowie adopts his mulleted Ziggy Stardust persona, launching the haircut into popular culture.

1991: The mullet hits its cultural peak, with the biggest movie star (Mel Gibson), biggest television star (Jerry Seinfeld) and most popular singer (Bolton) all wearing the haircut.

1995: The Beastie Boys go on an anti-mullet campaign, making fun of the haircut in interviews and with the song "Mullet Head."

1996: Metallica releases "Load," revealing new short haircuts. Chaos in the mullet community ensues.

2005: Lanky fastballer and mullet holdout Randy Johnson joins the New York Yankees, and cuts his hair. This leaves former Journey front man Steve Perry as the last celebrity in the world with a mullet.

So much mulletude....

-CK

Thinking about cigars....

2006-04-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight I reaffirmed my deep seated belief that there's nothing better in this world than sitting outside under a sky full of stars smoking a Romeo y Julieta number 1. While I was doing that though, I remembered a rather funny episode that I was a party to eight years ago when I was living in residence at the University of Calgary.

At that point in time I was a unrepentant alcoholic who's favorite past time was starting bar brawls. As such a few of my best friends (aka guys I liked to go out drinking with) were a few of the Dinos defensive linemen. When you like to brawl, it's nice to have a couple 6'8" 300 pounders there to watch your back.

One night after enough tequila to poison an elephant and a sizable brawl at some crappy Electric Avenue bar (I think it was Coconut Joe's) my friends and I decided it would be a good idea to go play some football in the dark. While we were heading out to the practice fields we ran into a friend of mine who's father sent him a humidor full of Cohibas as part of a care package. So we decided it would be even more fun to play full contact football while smoking $40 Cuban cigars.

However, after a few plays we had decided that we were far too drunk and it was far too dark to actually play (I think we lost the ball as well). So we were left standing out there with half smoked cigars and rapidly oncoming boredom. So someone suggested that we play a game and see who would be tough enough to put out a cigar on their own forehead. I and my friend who had provided the cigars were lucid enough to realize that cigars, unlike cigarettes, don't really go out when you press them against human flesh, the embers are just too large.

However, before we had the opportunity to warn our friends that their plan was poorly thought out they had already proceeded to stab their Cohibas into their brows. Suffice it to say the luckiest of them walked away with only second degree burns (I guess they were too drunk and too macho to stop trying to put out their cigars when it became quite apparent that the cigars weren't extinguishing).

That was pretty funny but what was more funny was that they all had practice the next morning and practice meant wearing helmets that rest on their foreheads then smashing those helmets into each other and random relatively immovable objects. When they got back to the dorms each of them was bleeding profusely.

The moral of this story: go out drinking with football players, they're an amusing bunch (then again some of my rugby teammates were quite amusing also; on one occassion a couple of them got drunk enough that they stabbed each other in the leg to prove how tough they were).

-CK

Just a quick thought....

2006-03-31T18:02:00.000-07:00

You know when it's cold enough outside you can see your breath. I wonder if it ever gets cold enough so that you can see your farts.

-CK

So funny it's dangerous.

2006-03-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

While following a link from Dadahead I came across this gem from the Seattle Times:

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

I nearly choked to death on a bite of pizza when I read this.

-CK

The power of prayer....

2006-03-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

...to increase your risk of medical complications.

Recently I posted an entry about how stupid I thought it was that the US government was throwing millions of dollars into research regarding the medical effects of prayer.

Well I followed up a bit on my earlier post and looked for articles regarding the results of the study and I found something unexpected and kind of funny. As the Globe and Mail put it:

In the largest scientific test of its kind, heart surgery patients showed no benefit when strangers prayed for their recovery.

And patients who knew they were being prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications.

The first part I completely expected. The second part is, in my opinion, awesome.

Why, you might ask, do I think it's awesome that the study found that prayer might actually lead to one having worse results? Well, because it serves as a nice "fuck you" to all those people who push stupid, and potentially harmful ideas, such as faith healing. Now if only someone would lay the scientific smack down on people, such as Lorraine Day, who suggest that people give up their chemotherapy and drink tea made of glorified lawn clippings to cure their cancer.

-CK

And people always make fun of Kansas.

2006-03-30T23:18:00.000-07:00

I just read a really funny and kind of sad statistic. It seems that only 52% of seventh graders in Indiana can pass the state's mandatory science exam. Ouch.

What's worse is what Iran Floyd (what an unfortunate name) the school superintendent said about the results:

"I think it speaks to the high level of science we teach in our schools...I'm just proud of our students and all their grades. It just goes to show that teachers are doing a great job, and they have a lot of parent support."

Floyd must be suffering from a serious case of the Lowered Expectations.

-CK

Iris Evans is a strange, strange woman.

2006-03-30T20:49:00.000-07:00

Today I took a moment from my day to listen to Iris Evans' announcement about health care policy. On this forum I'm not going to go into what I thought about the Klein government's health policy. I just wanted to comment on Iris Evans herself.

More particularly I wanted to comment on one thing she said.

I can't remember the context right now but for some reason she noted that her "favorite" aspect of the Albertan medical system was children's mental health (her exact words were "...and my favorite, children's mental health". Children's mental health is her "favorite"? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

How does one come to love mental health care for kids? Iris Evans is a strange, strange lady.

-CK

I GOT ACCEPTED!!!

2006-03-29T17:27:00.000-07:00

I just got back my first acceptance letter for a PhD program. The University of Cincinnati's philosophy program has decided that they would be willing to let me study there for a doctorate. Chumps! Anyways, it's time for celebration. WOOOHOOOOO!!!!

This is totally sweet. UC has a program which will allow me to cross train in the sciences, has people who work in phil of bio, phil of neuroscience, and environmental philosophy. So much goodness. If they offer me enough money I can go there and continue working on the neuro-stuff that I worked on in my undergraduate as well as the philosophy stuff that I have come to love. Feel so much excitement, need to run around and yell.....

-CK

P.S. It just occurs to me that if I go to Cincinnati, I'll get an opportunity to hang out with one of my favorite bloggers, Rob Skipper.

How well do you know random landmarks?

2006-03-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

It seems that I can recognize most of the noteworthy buildings in the world:

Expert
You scored 89% Recognition!

It looks like we have quite the expert here...you must have a lot of
world knowledge or perhaps have travelled a fair bit. Very impressive!
Since you recognized nearly every place, I trust you enjoyed the sites.
Here is a shot of one of my favourites - the Parliament Building in
Budapest, Hungary. If you had fun, please rate my test!

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 75% on Recognition

Link: The Around the World in 80 Seconds Test written by thinkandcome on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I laugh at you Emo!

2006-03-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

You might remember that back a couple of months ago I posted a link to a parody of Fallout Boy on my other blog, well I've found another similar video but making fun of All American Rejects.

Stupid emo.

-CK

What kind of man are you?

2006-03-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

It seems that I'm:

The smart-jock
You are 76 Manly and 31 Nerdy!

With your moderate computer knowlege, super manly body, and overall
good stamina, you have been branded with the horrible moniker
"smart-jock". You are, of course, an awesome person, there's just no
other way to describe you. Go have a huge breakfast, chop down a
forest, then go home and check your e-mail.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 97% on Manliness
You scored higher than 3% on Nerdiness

Link: The Manliness (for everybody) Test written by mulletmandan on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

-CK

This guy is my hero!

2006-03-27T17:32:00.000-07:00

Via Fark.com:

Naked, Oily Man Attacks Police With Nunchucks

Written by Jodi Mohrmann
WCSC-TV
Police in Charleston say a naked man exposed himself to his neighbor, then later attacked officers with nunchucks.

Police say 49-year-old Rudolph Claude Smith went next door to his neighbor's house to borrow some oil for a workout. While he was in the neighbor's home, police say Smith took off his clothes and asked the neighbor to "oil him up."

According to a police report, Smith attacked officers with nunchucks when they came to his home to make an arrest. They also say the oil made it hard for them to get a good grip on him.

He's now in jail awaiting a bond hearing.

Next time I'm naked and oily the cops better watch their asses. Errr.... That came out wrong....

-CK

How to be seriously bad-ass: Get a Fucking Haircut You Hippy Edition.

2006-03-26T23:36:00.000-07:00

It strikes me that it's been nearly a week since my last post about how to be seriously bad-ass. That being the case I better put up another entry before you guys all become pussies and force me to punch you in the throat. So this time the topic we're discussing is haircuts. There are only two acceptable haircuts for a person (male or female) that is truly bad-ass. The first is the shaved head:

Ko-motherfuckin'-jak, bitch!

The other one is the cowboy hat:

I'm so bad-ass I scare myself

Nothing else is acceptable for the person who is serious about being seriously bad-ass. Here's a quick little primer for you all:

Bad-ass:

Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!

Not bad-ass:

My life is a dark abyss....

Bad-ass:

It's time to switch to whiskey, we've been drinkin' beer all night.

Not bad-ass:

Do you want to hear my poem?

Bad-ass:

Just click on the picture and watch the video.

Not bad-ass:

Can someone punch me in the face please?

Do you get it or do I need to explain it again?

-CK

Proof of God's existence.

2006-03-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

In the last few years there have been droves of ultra-religious wackos wandering talking about proofs of the existence of religious deities. They jibber-jabber about things like "irreducible complexity", statues that drink milk, and appearances of knocked-up virgins on grilled cheese sandwiches. All I have to say is: hogwash!

I have found the true proof of the existence of a higher benevolent power, namely, the fact that scientists have discovered how to make bacon that's actually healthy for you!

That's right bacon that you should be eating. If that isn't a sign of God then I don't know what is. Now I know that miracles can and do happen. Who would have thought that you can throw in a gene or two from C. elegans, a lowly worm, into the tastiest animal in the universe and get bacon that's chock full of omega-3 fatty acids. Not me.

The universe truly does make sense!

-CK

I Must Be Emo.

2006-03-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

Today is the day for funny videos. Anyone who has been reading my blog posts for any substantial length of time knows that I hate emo and all things emoesque (with the exception of The Weakerthans, they have some fairly emo moments but they're good enough that I can ignore when they get a little whiny). So you can imagine my delight when I found this video:

-CK

A Tribute to Redneckness.

2006-03-26T13:52:00.000-07:00

This has to be one of the funniest things on Google video:

-CK

Plugging Indie Bands: Knucklehead.

2006-03-26T13:36:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you give geologists guitars and have them play some of the best old school East Coast hardcore punk rock? You get Knucklehead. Not only do these guys rock, they know about rocks (sorry, I couldn't fight the urge to include that stupid pun). There's not really all that much to say about them. They're super nice guys, play really good punk rock music, and if you don't listen to them then it's you who is missing out. So take a journey over to their MySpace site and give them a listen.

-CK

I just read the best blog post ever.

2006-03-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

I was digging through various people's blog rolls and I came across my newest blog hero, The Gay Black Jew. Someone who's a minority triple threat and in the US? They must be badest ass ever (unless there happens to be a gay black jew who lives in Iran, that person would be the bades ass ever). Yet, The Gay Black Jew is even more impressive. For example, consider his post titled: Terrorist Trades Promise of 72 Virgins For Reality of One Filthy Whore. You know a post is going to be worth a laugh when the editor's note is as follows:

Editor's Note: The Gay Black Jew believes that terrorism should be fought with boobies, not bombs. We make great bombs and we like to show them off to the world, but one of our best strategic resources--nice, big tits--is not being utilized to protect the American people. Write your senator today! Tell them to bring the troops home and send in some strippers! Ask them why we aren't air-dropping crates in Afghanistan with Astro-glide and pictures of naked Arabic. That's what The Gay Black Jew would do.

Heh....

-CK

UPDATE: I've discovered that The Gay Black Jew isn't gay, black, or Jewish but, that said, he's still really, really funny!

Dan Dennett interview.

2006-03-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

For those of you who has the same love of philosophy and science that I do, here's an interview with Dan Dennett. While I don't think Dennett is right about all of his views, especially those within the philosophy of biology, he's definitely one of the brightest contemporary philosophers. So without further ado:

-CK

Another reason for me to hate Britney Spears.

2006-03-25T01:05:00.000-07:00

As if there wasn't enough cause to dislike Britney Spears and everything that she stands for, there's now another reason to want to slap Mrs. Federline upside the head. I have no idea how Digby found this out but it seems that Ms. Spears is now the model for the world's first monument for the anti-abortion crowd.

To be completely fair to Britney Spears, it doesn't seem that she had the work commissioned or even actually posed for it. However, I still hate her and she stands for something else that I can't abide by. Damn you Britney Spears!

It's been a while since I posted a quiz...

2006-03-25T00:54:00.000-07:00

...so when I saw this one on Agent Nox's (who has mysteriously become yogavixen) new site I had to jump onto the bandwagon.

Which OS are You?

The funny thing is that I hate Palm pilots. I think they're the most useless gadget since camera phones. I really hate personal electronics.... Almost pathologically so. Hmmm.....

-CK

The Stupidification of America.

2006-03-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

I just read an article that is another piece of evidence that if the purveyors of "traditional values" (such as homophobia, theocracy, women as incubators that can cook, and ignorance) become any more dominant in political discourse then we're doomed to another dark age.

Here are a few snippets of the article from the Arkansas Times:

He responded with an e-mail. Teachers at his facility (ed: a science education institution that serves several Arkansas public school districts) are forbidden to use the “e-word” (evolution)
with the kids. They are permitted to use the word “adaptation” but only to refer to a current characteristic of an organism, not as a product of evolutionary change via natural selection. They cannot even use the term “natural selection.” Bob feared that not being able to use evolutionary terms and ideas to answer his students’ questions would lead to reinforcement of their misconceptions.

But Bob’s personal issue was more specific, and the prohibition more insidious. In his words, “I am instructed NOT to use hard numbers when telling kids how old rocks are. I am supposed to say that these rocks are VERY VERY OLD ... but I am NOT to say that these rocks are thought to be about 300 million years old.”

What's next will teachers not be allowed to include the words "spherical" and "Earth" in the same sentence without using "is not" as a modifier?

It's ridiculous that in the twenty-first century people in the world's greatest power are trying to get everyone to adopt sixth century thinking. People, especially the Christian right, often suggest that Muslim extremistism should be rejected because of their attempts to embody an anachronistic ideal.

I would argue that Evangelicals are exactly the same.

-CK

Hasbro making it easier to be a geek since 1923.

2006-03-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Everybody, it is time to bow down and worship the geniuses at the Hasbro toy design department. They have made the ultimate breakthrough in geekiness. They have combined what are arguably the two geekiest franchise to develop what might be the geekiest toy ever! What do you get when you combine Star Wars with Transformers? You get awesome! So very awesome!

The only thing better would be a Star Wars/G.I. Joe/Transformers triple changer.... That would be indisputably the geekiest toy of all time. Especially if also had a lightsabre that came out of its ass.

-CK

Did you say a play about the best puppet death scenes?

2006-03-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

It just might be the case that the best piece of dramatic theatre might be in Calgary right now as I'm typing this! It's a puppet show that is nothing but a collection of all the best death scenes from other (imaginary) puppet shows. I don't know about you guys but all I have to say is fuck yeah! The show's appropriately titled, FAMOUS PUPPET DEATH SCENES, and will be at One Yellow Rabbit Theatre. It should be full of sweet macabre humour.

If you don't go you seriously suck hairy donkey testicles and I'm never talking to you again.

-CK

Jello Biafra's coming to town?!?!

2006-03-22T22:13:00.000-07:00

I just read that Jello Biafra's coming to Calgary on April 10th! Hells yeah! I've seen him speak twice but that was before the war in Iraq (indeed, if I remember correctly it was even before the election of Dubya). It should be a great show! Here's a preview for those of you who might be interested in going:

It's going to be so rantastically delicious.

-CK

How to be seriously bad-ass: Sleeveless Hoody Edition.

2006-03-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

A couple weeks ago, I posted an entry on my other blog, Capitalist Pig vs Socialist Swine, that said I wanted to blog about my other interests besides politics. These included my favorite hobby, being seriously bad-ass. So I've decided that I'm going to have a weekly column on Tower of Babble about how to be as bad-ass as you can be. That way other people can join me in pursuing what might be the funnest hobby in the whole damn universe. So without further ado. Here's how you can become as bad-ass as I am.

The first thing about being bad-ass that one has to learn about is having bad-ass fashion sense. This is for two reasons. First, there's no point in being bad-ass if no one else realizes that you're bad-ass. So to make sure that everyone know's you're way more bad-ass than they are, you have to look bad-ass. You ask: How does one look bad-ass? Well, like they say the clothes make the (wo)man. So to look bad-ass you have to start by dressing bad-ass.

The second reason I'm starting with bad-ass fashion sense, is that fashion is easy, anyone can learn how to dress bad-ass. It's just about having the right elements to put together a truly bad-ass outfit. For example, every bad-ass has to have a sleeveless hoody. Preferably a black sleeveless hoody with a skull on it. Because sleeves are for pussies and everyone knows that skulls and black are bad-ass. A good example of a really bad-ass sleeveless hoody is being modeled by yours truly below:

Doesn't that just scream BAD-ASS!!!! Just look how that hoody brings out my inner machoness. If I was any more macho in that hoody I'd be Chuck fuckin' Norris. Goddamn, if I was a toothless trucker chick I'd be all over me in that fine hoody like a greasy overweight man on a meatball sub with extra cheese.

See without sleeves, you can show the world you muscles and tattoos (preferably tattoos of half-man/half-bird hybrids holding swords looking all intense). You really can't find a shirt that makes you look more bad-ass than a black sleeveless hoody with a skull on it. Well, okay there's one more bad ass looking shirt, that's a black sleeveless hoody with a skull in it in the dark:

Fuck, I'm so bad-ass I'm scared of myself.

-CK

I don't know if this is true but it's truly funny!

2006-03-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

It seems that Les over at Stupid Evil Bastard found an interesting longitudinal study discussed in the Toronto Star about whiny kids. Apparently they grow up to be conservatives. From the Star article:

Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative.

At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals.

Later in the article there is discussion of earlier longitudinal studies regarding correlations between personality characteristics and political inclinations. Here's what it says:

Similar work by John T. Jost of Stanford and colleagues in 2003 drew a political backlash. The researchers reviewed 44 years worth of studies into the psychology of conservatism, and concluded that people who are dogmatic, fearful, intolerant of ambiguity and uncertainty, and who crave order and structure are more likely to gravitate to conservatism.

You know, I can't say that I'm entirely surprised. Though, I can say that I'm laughing my ass off at all my conservative friends out there.

-CK

Did you say that Starbucks is socially responsible?!?

2006-03-20T19:33:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you know that there are two fundamental truths about my existence. First I love coffee. While I've given up all my other vices I still am an unabashed caffeine addict. Indeed, there are days where I drink upwards to six cups of coffee...for breakfast (such as when I was in Italy and had access to some of the tastiest coffee in the world, I think I was up to at least a dozen cups of espresso a day, and I didn't drink them in those little shot glasses, I was having big mugs of espresso whenever and where ever I could find it). The second fundamental truth of my existence is that I hate Starbucks with a passion. I've been known to refuse to talk to people simply because I saw them with a Starbucks cup once. It always struck me that Starbucks was one of those evil corporations out to take over the world and turn everyone into robots with mermaid logos.

That and I always had assumed that, given their size and their apparent similarity to other large fast food franchises such as McDonalds, they single handedly kept down the coffee growers in Central and South America. Indeed, I had always thought that when you buy a venti machiato not only were you being a pretentious prick but you were aiding in keeping the developed world impoverished by aiding a multinational corporations exploitation of the poor.

However, according to CBC Radio's The Current I might be wrong. Apparently, Starbucks does fairly well (relative to other large coffee franchises) in terms of being socially responsible. While drinking Starbucks' coffee still makes you a pompous asshole, I guess they try to buy fair trade beans and actually donate quite a bit to various social projects (at least according to Starbucks' own reports and the various social scientist types that were on this morning's show).

What was more surprising is that icon of Canadian caffeinaholism Tim Hortons (aka Timmy Ho's) is an evil poor folk exploiting coffee cartel. While Starbucks ranked a B- for their social responsibility Timmy's only got an E-. This seems so very wrong. I always thought that drinking Timmy Ho's (while indicative of a lack of true coffee appreciation) wasn't the kind of evil act that drinking Starbucks' was. It saddens me that I'm wrong.

Though, that said, I guess I don't really ever go to Timmy Ho's all that often. I think I might have been there perhaps three times in the last five years (and that was because I wanted their donuts rather than their coffee). I guess I'm safe sticking to the small independently owned java joints that I frequent such as Weeds, Higher Ground, and the Hop in Brew. As far as I know all these places not only sling fair trade coffee exclusively but also have a more interesting clientele. I mean you're not going to walk into a Starbucks or a Timmy Ho's and find a chess tournament in action or be able to join into a conversation about merits and failings of the various proposed foreign policies of the three major Canadian federal parties.

That and Starbucks is always full of those shiny people to groom too much. Anyone who puts that much attention in appearing nice to go drink coffee has to be hiding something.

-CK

Update: More on an inflationary universe.

2006-03-19T23:13:00.000-07:00

Consigliere noted, as a response to my previous post regarding new evidence suggesting the veracity of inflationary theory, that the National Geographic article didn't go into detail as to how the microwave evidence supports the theories of people like Alan Guth. So I decided to take a look at NASA's site and see if I could find the original report. I managed to do so. If you would like to read what NASA has to say about what the WMAP results suggest about inflationary theory follow the link here (you'll need Adobe to read it).

As for what this paper actually says, you'll have to ask someone else. I know absolutely nothing about physics and very little about astronomy so much of what's written in the paper might as well be in Greek. I'll check some physics blogs and see if anyone there talks about this story.

-CK

UPDATE: Dynamics of Cats has a good post titled WMAP for Dummies.

Stupid colour blindness....

2006-03-19T18:23:00.000-07:00

It was just pointed out to me that I had inadvertantly made everything purply pink on this site. I had thought it was blue. It has now been fixed. Stupid purply pink, I swear that colour was designed to screw with colour blind guys.

-CK

Alan Guth must be happy.

2006-03-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

Twenty five years ago Alan Guth first suggested the idea of an inflationary universe to explain the universe's general flatness, homogeneity, and lack of topological defects (what these things really mean, I'm not sure, I have only the most rudimentary understanding of cosmology). Guth's original theory was, by his own admission, flawed but it has since been modified by people such as Andre Linde, Andreas Albrecht, and Paul Steinhardt to provide one of the most cogent conjectures regarding how the universe formed to have its current properties. However, until recently there was little evidential proof for Inflationary Theories veracity. Apparently that has changed. According to the National Geographic:

WMAP now has the most convincing evidence yet for inflation: a reading of the light released just after the big bang. This cosmic afterglow, known as microwave background, is made of a similar type of radiation to that which carries signals to a TV antenna.

The afterglow is as valuable to a cosmologist as the earliest fossils are to a paleontologist. It is the oldest radiation ever detected, still traveling almost 14 billion years after it was emitted.

See what can happen when you take the time to consider possible natural explanations for phenomena instead of screaming "irreducible complexity" and suggesting that an intelligent supernatural force is required to explain the universe. You might actually learn something.

-CK

An Ipsos-Reid poll that's actually worth reading....

2006-03-19T12:23:00.000-07:00

Now I don't want to denigrate the good people at Ipsos-Reid. I think that their public opinion polls regarding politics are a great tool for anyone who comments on the political happenings in Canada. Indeed, many of my posts about the recent federal election were to some degree informed by the numbers provided by Ipsos-Reid. That said, many of their polls are rather dull about such relatively unsexy topics such as support for political parties, support for various political leaders, and voting intent.

However, today I found a Ipsos-Reid poll about the sexiest topic of all, sex. Though apparently, according to the poll, Canadians aren't particularly sexy, at least not those past 40. According to the poll:

Canadians between 40 and 64 dedicate an average of just 15 minutes a day to sex and romance.

Among the survey's highlights:

* 40 per cent of boomers said they don't have enough time for more sex;
* 58 per cent said they are too tired; and
* 42 per cent said they are too stressed out to spend more time getting frisky between the sheets.

It seems that while Dr. Evil failed at stealing Austin Powers' mojo he might have succeeded in steal the collective mojo of middle aged Canadians. Fifteen minutes a day? Weak....

-CK

Fun words from the idiolect of mountain bikers.

2006-03-19T00:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had quite a fun evening hanging out with a bunch some rather hard core downhill mountain bikers. These are folks who live for a sport that quite regularly leads to multiple compound fractures. So it really doesn't need to be said that a night hanging out with them is generally fairly interesting and more often than not quite fun-filled. However, that said, despite their death defying lifestyle the thing that I think is perhaps most interesting about them is their use of language. Here are a few of the more amusing examples:

Mullette (moo-LAY) n.
1. A hairstyle similar to the mullet or ape drape but which is carefully groomed to appear European, or to be more particular French. Also known as a euromullet.

2. A large bald Newfoundlander.

Greable (GREE-bull) n.
1. A child who has been playing in a sandbox and drinking juice sloppily and as such has a face covered in semi-congealed juice mixed with sand, dust, and dirt.

2. Someone with poor personal hygiene or otherwise lacking in interpersonal skills.

3. People who wear sleeveless hooded sweat-shirts, are unshaven, and have moustaches.

Yes, idioms are fun....

-CK

The Problem of Evil.

2006-03-18T15:55:00.000-07:00

I thought that for a good first substantial post on this new foray into the wilderness of the internets I would turn to a carnival being hosted on one of my favorite sites, Buridan's Ass. To be a little less vague, Buridan is putting together a link collection for the God or Not blog carnival focusing around the topic of the problem of evil.

Now I must first admit that I'm not a theologian, it's pretty difficult to be a good theologian when one's an unabashed heathen. Indeed, I'm even particularly well versed in the philosophy of religion (which one can succeed at despite a predisposition towards atheism). That said, I have had the pleasure in my life of knowing some very interesting people who were theologians and/or philosophers of religion whom I have had at least one or two conversations with about the issue. That and I'm fairly familiar with the history of logic, which oddly enough has many intersections with religion. So I thought I might take a stab (albeit probably a rather weak one) at this topic. So without further ado, here we go:

Now, it strikes that evil simpliciter isn't really that much of an issue for the religious type folk who believe that we're all watched over by a deity that is omnibenevolent, omniscient, omnipotent, and allows evil to occur. There are some fairly easy outs for them. They can argue that evil is the result of freewill which is a greater good that offsets the evil or they could argue that some evil in the world serves to bring out the best in us, which too is a perhaps a greater good to offset the bad.

So I don't think that the interesting debate is about how theologically minded types can account for evil, it seems that they can, what I think they might have a greater problem with is, to paraphrase the words of some smart person (the identity of whom I forget at the moment), is how much evil is in the world. Or perhaps, to be more accurate, not evil as in intentionally malevolent acts by agents, but random nasty in nature.

When you consider things like plagues, earthquakes, tsunamis, wildfires, hurricanes, wild animal attacks, cancer, roof collapses, land-slides, schizophrenia, nuclear meltdowns, drought, famine, floods, blizzards, ice storms, and erectile dysfunction it really does seem like God has it out against us. These are things that aren't the result of human actions and as such aren't the result of free will. Moreover, these things might in moderate doses provide opportunities for people to shine but they happen with such regularity that, at least as far as it strikes me, we've been more than tested. Indeed, if I were to believe in an omnipotent deity, from all the nasty random things that happen to people who surely don't deserve it, I would be forced to conclude that such a deity didn't like us very much and was doing the most it could to keep us down.

Now granted this isn't a sophisticated argument by any means, nor is it one that is unquestionably convincing. Yet, I would contend that given that it is the pro-religious folk that are trying to expand our ontology, the onus is upon them to argue for the existence of a god that has the properties they claim it has. As such, I would be quite interested in hearing their explanation of how or why an omnibenevolent omnimax God allows such terrible things to happen to his "children".

-CK

Monty Python makes a good first post....

2006-03-18T04:54:00.000-07:00

What's the best way to start off a new blog? Well obviously the answer is Monty Python skits. Especially ones about philosophy.